Leaked Postcard from Rio+20 Diplomat to his Daughter!

Exclusive at The Verb:

Dear Sarah,

I acknowledge you would like it here in Rio, and encourage you to establish a plan to arriving here in the future! Such lovely weather, lush green mountains and blue seas. So glad to be here reaffirming the stresses all these things are under. Even more glad to be acknowledging the need to begin to save them sometime in the future.

I underscore that I’m well, and support your health at home. I would also like to recall your previous commitments to feed the dogs; if you’ve forgotten then I encourage you to reaffirm their right to have access to food.

I note the need to know the health of your mum. I affirm our love, and note the possibility of inviting her to undertake a review of our current relationship, to be completed no later than 2015, with the aim of implementing a process to continuing our marriage,  with a timeframe to be established after the completion of the report. Exciting! I also note that such a process is dependent on reproductive rights and family planning schemes.

I acknowledge your good work at school, and support these school endeavours. I recognise my attendance to your school play would further support your studies. I am encouraged to attend.

I reaffirm the importance of you to me, and recognise my decisions will impact your future and your children’s future.

I stress my love for you,

Dad.

An obvious parody by Tim Hall on the ludicrous state of the negotiations. Top photo by Sam Bowstead, inset via Eduardo Amorim.

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