Japan Gets Married To Coal

Everyday at six o’clock, a crowd flocks to gather on the tiled floors of the UN climate change negotiations to witness an unusual ceremony. Yesterday, Japan was declared Fossil of the Day and joined in holy matrimony with an inflatable Tyrannosaurus rex. The usual congratulations were noticeably absent from the proceedings. This followed news that Japan had slashed its 2020 emission reduction target, with its new pledge allowing for a three per cent increase in pollution from 1990 levels.

During the ceremony, the officiant described Japan’s long and happy relationship with fossil fuels. There were titters from the audience when Japan’s pledge to the first commitment period the Kyoto Protocol was mentioned, which was -6 per cent from 1990 levels. Number one rule of weddings: never invite someone who knows the secrets of your past. They should have chosen their guests more carefully.

In an impromptu best man’s speech, CAN asked Japan how it expected to raise the international level of ambition if the third largest economy was only planning to increase its emissions.

The happy couple were serenaded out to the dulcet tones of ‘Fossil of the Day’, an original piece they had danced to the first night they met.  Yet already tensions were running high between the newlyweds after Japan demanded that fossil fuels power their honeymoon hire car.

Let’s hope that Japan can see past this marriage of short-term convenience and increase its ambition to solve the climate crisis. We hear renewables are newly single.

By Mim DiNapoli, photo by Al Kinley via Oxfam.