Australia Adjusts Kyoto Target*

After an initial press release detailing a proposed 0.5 percent commitment to emissions reduction under the second period of the Kyoto Protocol, Australia is set to revise their position. In a closed briefing delivered to the Australian stakeholders present, it was revealed that there was an error in the initially stated figure.

The head of the Australian delegation, Ambassador Justin Lee, stated that “there was a problem with the autocorrect feature in our software, and it caused an error in our briefing papers. We were concerned when we initially revealed the figure, but went with what was in front of us. We will be revising that figure.”

Mr. Lee revealed that autocorrect had shifted the decimal place on the QELRO submission. Mr. Lee said that ‘”the 0.5 percent figure was wrong, it should actually be fifty percent. Clearly there has been a mistake, and the Australian delegation apologises for that. We hope that people can see how it’s an easy mistake to make though. I’m sure we will see similar errors happening with other countries in the future too.”

The move is expected to be well received by the broader international community, although New Zealand have complained that after Australia’s revised target only seeks to make them look bad. New Zealand Environment Minister Helen Plume has stated that “they’ve totally blindsided us, it is absolutely appalling. We thought our non-target was on par with theirs, but then they go and do this? It’s absolutely disgraceful. fifty percent? What a joke. We were under the impression that nothing, or thereabouts, would be fine. This is an absolute tragedy.”

Negotiations are set to continue in the same manner that they have been for the last 18 years.

By Jeremiah Brown, photo by Laura Owsianka. This piece stems from research and facts but is clearly a fictional manifestation.